I woke up this morning and wished my wife a happy Valentine’s day. Rolled over, put my feet on the floor and decided to have a good day. (I do that every day, decide to have a good day. Sometimes it even works too.) Before I stood up off the bed I looked to my bedside table and noticed my small golden Buddha statue.
He is seated on a lotus blossom, in Lotus position with his eyes closed in meditation. Serene. Mindful. Enlightened.
Suddenly I thought about St. Valentine’s day in a new frame of mind. I wondered about the day and what it stands for to Americans. I think most Americans feel that this day is all about buying a gift for their loved one. Some chocolate, a dozen red roses, maybe a diamond for her hand or to wear around her neck.
Would the Buddha have taught me to be above that? To rise out of the mindless need and simple showiness of the day. Would he have asked me to instead find a real way to show real compassion. (Yes I know I said ‘real’ twice. Got your attention huh?)
But what if getting the roses and chocolate is what my Beloved really needed for that day? What would I do if she really needed that to feel loved? I mean I know that would mean she is really shallow, but just what if you know?
So getting her the roses, the candy and a diamond would be showing her compassion? I don’t want her to feel mistreated. That won’t help anything at all. Would not help our relationship, her mental state, her heart.
So maybe the Buddha would want me to by some roses? Now I am confused.
Nope. I think I should just be a good husband. Do more than my share of the household duties. Take more upon myself and give her a rest she deserves. Take the kids off of her lap for a night and let her do something she enjoys.
But how can I maintain a stance that encourages a certain disconnection from worldly greed while still living in the world? It doesn’t seem possible to on the one hand practice the emptiness that the Diamond Sutra teaches while still going to work and raising my family.
Maybe that is the diamond that I should give to my wife? Perhaps I can find a way to give her the teachings of the Diamond Sutra? True, she would not be the most accepting of this teaching… but in time, who knows?
Any way, happy Saint Valentine’s Day.
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